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• Headline: ZACH BRAFF MANIA SWEEPS ZACH BRAFF'S APARTMENT
• Also Starring: Mike Barker ( ), Romany Malco (Skittle / Refugee / Hot Rod), Thandie Newton (Makeva), Seth Rogen (Student), Christine Taylor (Candy), Rob Tinkler (Clerk)
• Written By: Josh Bycel & Jonathan Fener
• Directed By: Albert Calleros

• Headline: JEWISH GYNECOLOGIST DEVELOPS PAP SCHMEAR
• Also Starring: Lizzy Caplan (Debbie), Jeff Fischer (Jeff), David Herman (Man / Zack), Ron Lynch ( ), Matt McKenna ( ), Azura Skye (Veronica), Patrick Stewart (Bullock)
• Written By: Dan Vebber
• Directed By: Pam Cooke

• Headline: DESPONDENT PLUTO DROWNS TWO OF ITS MOONS
• Also Starring: Curtis Armstrong (Snot), Christine Baranski (Homeless Woman), Mike Barker ( ), Paget Brewster (Judy), Beau Bridges (Lieutenant Thacker), John DiMaggio (Priest / Repo Guy), Elias Koteas (Jim), Swoosie Kurtz (Marilyn), Scott Lowell (Felix), Patrick Stewart (Bullock), Daisuke Suzuki (Toshi), Fred Tatasciore ( ), Eddie Kaye Thomas (Barry)
• Written By: Etan Cohen
• Directed By: Rodney Clouden

• Headline: BUSH TO VOTERS: VOTES FOR DEMS KILL ANGELS!
• Also Starring: Mike Barker ( ), Wilson Cruz (Male Fan / Male Log Cabin Chorus / Hot Andew), Tom Hollander (Performance Artist Lincoln / Waiter), Scott Lowell (Brett), Matt McKenna ( ), Peter Paige (Jason), Stark Sands (Conservative Republican / Tino / Conservative #1), Fred Tatasciore ( )
• Written By: Nahnatchka Khan & Rick Wiener & Kenny Schwartz
• Directed By: Brent Woods

• Headline: DEMS TAKE HOUSE, REPUBLICANS GET RECORD COLLECTION
• Also Starring: Curtis Armstrong (Snot / Fladnag), John DiMaggio (Leon / Brad), Jeff Fischer (Jeff / Zamfir), Daisuke Suzuki (Toshio / Popo), Eddie Kaye Thomas (Barry / Flandnag)
• Written By: Michael Shipley & Jim Bernstein
• Directed By: Kurt Dumas & Anthony Lioi

• Headline: RUMSFELD STEPS DOWN... ON PUPPY'S HEAD
• Also Starring: Lizzy Caplan (Debbie), Karen Maruyama (Kichiro), Matt McKenna ( ), Kevin M. Richardson ( ), Elijah Wood (Ethan)
• Written By: Steve Hely
• Directed By: Caleb Meurer

• Headline: TURKEY UPRISING FAILS!
• Also Starring: Curtis Armstrong (Snot), Mike Barker (Terry Bates), Tom Hollander ( ), Austin Majors (Thomas), Ivana Milicevic (Svetlana), Martin Mull (Father Donovan), Andre Sogliuzzo (Teacher), Daisuke Suzuki (Toshi), Eddie Kaye Thomas (Barry)
• Written By: Brian Boyle
• Directed By: John Aoshima

• Headline: TRANS FATS BANNED IN NYC, FAT TRANNIES STILL OK
• Also Starring: Mike Barker ( ), Johnny Galecki (Arnie Squirrel), Leslie Jordan (Beauregard), John Krasinski (Gilbert Squirrel), Rusty Schwimmer (Mama Squirrel), Andre Sogliuzzo ( ), Jon Stewart (Himself)
• Written By: Chris McKenna & Matt McKenna
• Directed By: Pam Cooke

• Headline: EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS! SANTA EXITS SLEIGH, FLASHES CROTCH
• Also Starring: Mike Barker (Terry Bates), Chris Diamantopolous (Donald Sutherland / Robert Deniro), Rick Hoffman (Caroller #1 / John Hinkley), Lisa Kudrow (Ghost of Christmas Past), Matt McKenna ( ), Sam Pancake ( )
• Written By: Brian Boyle
• Directed By: Albert Calleros

• Headline: IT'S 2007... STILL NO FLYING CARS
• Also Starring: Mike Barker ( ), Chris Cox (George W. Bush), Jeff Fischer (Jeff), Mike Henry (Jackson), Bobby Lee (Korean Man), Stephen Root (Dick / Co-Worker #4), Patrick Stewart (Bullock), Fred Tatasciore (Secret Service Agent)
• Written By: Matt Weitzman & Mike Barker
• Directed By: Mike Kim

• Headline: GIRLFRIEND DUMPED AFTER ASKING "WHO'S IN WORLD SERIES BOWL?"
• Also Starring: Curtis Armstrong (Snot), Mike Barker ( ), Mary Jo Catlet, ( ) Miguel Ferrer (Agent Hopkins), Mike Henry ( ), Leila Hoyle ( ), Niecy Nash (Patty Labelle), Elizabeth Pena (Store Owner), Louie Perez ( ), Iggy Pop (Jerry), Efren Ramirez (Paco), Stark Sands (Williams), Patrick Stewart (Bullock), Daisuke Suzuki (Toshi), Eddie Kaye Thomas (Barry), Matt Weitzman ( )
• Written By: Nahnatchka Khan
• Directed By: Rodney Clouden

• Headline: HOMEMADE VALENTINE PROVES THOUGHT DOESN'T COUNT
• Also Starring: Mike Barker (Gordon), Jeff Fischer (Jeff), Peter Graves (Mr. Pibb), Masam Holden (Henry), Patton Oswalt (Bob)
• Written By: Dan Vebber
• Directed By: Joe Daniello

• Headline: IRAN CHANGES FLAG TO MIDDLE FINGER
• Also Starring: Curtis Armstrong (Snot), Kevin Michael Richardson (Principal Lewis)
• Written By: Laura McCreary
• Directed By: Brent Woods

• Headline: SCOOTER LIBBY FARTS, PARDONED
• Also Starring: Mike Barker (Flower), Lisa Edelstein (Sharri Rothberg), Elliot Gould (Russel Rothberg), Mike Henry (Buckle), Deanne Jeffries (Woman), Matt McKenna (Mountain Man), Liz Sheridan (Mrs. Rothberg), Patrick Stewart (Bullock)
• Written By: Erik Durbin
• Directed By: John Aoshima

• Headline: CHILDHOOD OBESITY UP, PEDOPHILIA DOWN
• Also Starring: Mike Barker ( ), Mike Henry (Jackson), Jane Lynch ( ), Stephen Root (Dick), Lyndon Smith ( ), Patrick Stewart (Bullock), Ally Walker ( )
• Written By: David Zuckerman
• Directed By: Caleb Meurer

• Headline: AIRLINES TO SCREEN EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE
• Also Starring: Curtis Armstrong (Snot), Mike Barker (Biology Teacher), Paget Brewster ( ), Chris Diamantopoulos (Guy / Old Man), Michael Dunn ( ), Matt McKenna ( ), Becki Newton ( ), Terri Rodrigues ( ), Daisuke Suzuki (Toshi), Eddie Kaye Thomas (Barry)
• Written By: Rick Wiener & Kenny Schwartz
• Directed By: Rodney Clouden

• Headline: MEXICAN PRESIDENT CREATES NEW TACO SUPREME COURT
• Also Starring: Mike Barker (Terry Bates), Paul Butcher (Johnny), Chris Diamantopoulos (Jim / Executive), Mike Henry (Jackson), Ron Livingston (Bob Memari), Ann Magnusson ( ), Becki Newton ( ), Megin Price (Linda Memari), Patrick Stewart (Bullock), Fred Tatasciore ( )
• Written By: Michael Shipley & Jim Bernstein
• Directed By: Pam Cooke

• Headline: PLANE DELAYED AS MRS. PLANE FINISHES GETTING READY
• Also Starring: Curtis Armstrong (Snot), Harve Presnell ( ), Daisuke Suzuki (Toshi), Eddie Kaye Thomas (Barry), Carnie Wilson (Cashier / Woman)
• Written By: Steve Hely
• Directed By: Mike Kim

• Headline: POPEYE INSISTS: "OLIVE OIL AIN'T NO VIRGIN!"
• Also Starring: Mike Barker ( ), Clancy Brown (Jeff's Dad), Jeff Fischer (Jeff), Richard Gant (Leprechaun), David Herman ( ), J. Lee ( ), Daran Norris (Jack Smith)
• Written By: Keith Heisler
• Directed By: Joe Daniello